Episode 10 Is Out, I Just Forgot to Mention It.  

Episode 10 of War Panda Radio arrived on 5 August.

It is now 29 August, which means I have once again demonstrated the ruthlessly efficient promotional machine powering this podcast. A marvel of organisation. A titan of marketing. A shining example of how not to do any of that.

Still, I’m sure most of you have already listened. If you haven’t, here’s what awaits you.

The crew of the Hayurei stop at the Old Dreadbear — the galaxy’s most famous spillhouse and what you’d get if a pub, a motorway service station and a dangerously under‑regulated theme park were welded together by someone who shouldn’t be trusted with tools.

While Lady Deadheart and Remus investigate a drink called Brain Rot, Aric, Wordy and Lambnix explore the attractions. These include a suspiciously bottomless hole, questionable food, corporate‑sponsored rubbish disposal and a recording booth that reveals Lambnix has been hiding a rather impressive talent.

What begins as a quick escape from the ship soon takes an unexpected turn involving music, friendship and a prize capable of changing one crew member’s life.

Remus also starts an argument with some bamboo fries, while Aric discovers that space tourism is every bit as irritating as Earth tourism.

The episode features the original song “Loners Need Friends Too.”

Giving Lambnix the Spotlight

You may notice Remus isn’t in this episode as much as usual. That was deliberate.

I wanted our newest character Lambnix to take the lead for a bit, especially because Episode 11 will focus more on Lady Deadheart and Remus. With a growing crew, it seems only fair to let different characters step forward and cause their own particular brand of trouble.

Episode Two Is Still Waiting

I also haven’t forgotten about remaking Episode Two.

The script is fully refreshed, but I still need to record the new voices and rebuild the episode. At the moment, it’s a toss‑up between doing that next or diving straight into Episode 11.

The weeks pass ridiculously quickly. I finish an episode, briefly think I’ve earned a rest, and then a small voice in my mind says:

Right, then. Time to write the next one.

I’ve realised I’m absolutely not built for the life of a professional scriptwriter. I enjoy doing this because it gives me something creative to focus on, but having to produce a new script every week would be hellish. The same must be true for anyone expected to write a weekly article and somehow remain interesting, coherent and awake.

It has probably been far too many years since I had to do anything on a strict schedule. The whole idea now feels slightly alien and not in the entertaining, seven‑foot‑war‑panda sort of way.

A Slightly More Wooden Aric

I’m also aware that my fictional self sounded a little more wooden than usual in Episode 10.

My intention has always been for Aric to sound unprofessional and slightly out of his depth. That’s part of the character. As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t actually sound like the Aric in the podcast — I’m afflicted with a much more nasally Thames‑estuary accent, which I for one could barely listen to.

Anyway, I may consider recloning the voice before the next episode. My wife says it sounded perfectly fine, so there’s every possibility the problem exists entirely inside my own head.

By the time I finish an episode, I’ve listened to every line so many times that I no longer know whether the whole thing is good, terrible, or simply a complicated noise I’ve accidentally trained myself to recognise.

That’s probably just my natural habit of picking holes in everything I create. Still, if I didn’t care about making it better, I wouldn’t keep doing it.

And Finally…

Episode 10 is available now through the usual podcast platforms, YouTube, Podbean and at warpandaradio.com. Leave a review and tell a friend even if the friend is an AI.

Till next time, keep your eyes open for those fighters.

War Panda Radio
A podcast unlike any other. Whether that’s a good thing, we leave for you to decide.